When the plane came in she said she was crashing

My eyelids are closing again, but whenever I get into bed, they won't close.
I'm going to return to my roots of old fashioned rambling for this post, be warned.

This whole year has disappeared in a blink. It's bizarre. I don't know where I am or what's going on.
I don't know what to do with my life, but I like living day by day.

It's hard to live two lives in two different places.
It's hard to remember they're not entirely separate sometimes.
Seeing the two together sometimes feels like someones jumped off Mars.

I've been training a lot again. I will be a weapon again.

Sometimes all I want is to creep around in the dead of the night and paint things.

My favourite place in the world is being torn down.

I had a dream last week, I was walking through it, and it was broken, breaking, crumbling. Walls, rooms, bricks were missing.

And then that morning I got a text, "I have some bad news, baby."

Apparently there's not much left.

Dad and I were going to go there in the snow. But it started snowing too hard. We said we'd go the next day, but it snowed even more.

I would have loved to have seen it in the snow.

Sometimes I can't handle people assuming that I'm unintelligent just because of the subjects I study at university.
Sometimes I think I need to drop all my sciences and study arts.
Sometimes I think I need to drop all my arts and study sciences.
Sometimes I don't think.

That last part isn't true.

I need to pack now.