Done, done, onto the next one

 What happens if I can't say yes?

If I don't say yes?

There are choices, after all.

Though sometimes the multitude of paths feel overwhelming, paralysing. Other times I feel trapped by technicalities, minor inconveniences - the need to wait.

Waiting.

But how can one be patient when life is so uncertain?

The only thing I'm certain of is that I'll blink and my bones will be brittle, my hair greyed, my breathing raspy - if I make it that far.

Not a single day is promised to us.

Perhaps that's why some days the bike rides are particularly terrifying.

Why my heart stops momentarily on highways.

Why the man who followed me home haunts me for days.

And this is precisely why indecision is so infuriating.

I must know.

I must know what I want.

Because I must act now, before it is too late. 

So why am I waiting for others to make the decisions for me?

For others to ask?

For me to see in the last possible second if it will be:

Yes?

Or a new challenge,

alone again,

freer,

but _______?

No sé.