Vibrant

A month or so ago I drafted a post beginning:

I have discovered that I am not an easy woman to love.

And all the bullshit that went along with that sentence. The truth is, it's probably hard for most people to love most other people. And I refuse to surround myself with people who make me feel like I'm hard to love.

Because I'm not. It's just hard for some people to love me, and in some cases, I them.

One of the greatest things I have learned over here is that I cannot (and will not) change who I am in order to be loved.

Honestly, I hadn't even realised I'd done it until I arrived here and was allowed to be completely, wholly, self-indulgently me.

I do not want to be selfish, but I have been too selfless in the past. I forgot what it was to be happy, and I'm happy to have found it again.

I tried really hard to be less aggressive and more loving, and I will stick to this resolve, but I will not be a doormat, either.

I foresee a crazy 9 months or so ahead, but I'm feeling pretty stoked.