Crush

It's a funny thing, the feeling you get when your life is about to change the most.
When little things happen, when life's little stresses get you down, you feel a lot more. You feel in colour, in texture, in layers.
I guess you know exactly how you're feeling.

But in those life-defining moments (or at least, present-day-life-defining moments), everything feels raw.
Like all of your outer layers have been stripped away and there's a gaping hole in your chest. You feel as though your core runs deeper than just a compression below your sternum.

It's funny how calm you can feel when your heart feels as though it's about to be crushed.
Sometimes I wonder if it's a fight or flight response. Like you become hyper-aware of the situation you're in, so the world around you shrinks to this one focal point. This one period where you need to focus all of your energy and time, all of your emotion, all of your thoughts.

And yet, in these important moments you can be so calm.

Still driving at the speed limit although you have no idea how much longer she actually has left, or if you'll say goodbye in time.

Asking the pragmatic questions, even though this is something you've feared for a while now.

But in a while, things will start to crumble.