Something Beautiful

So there's an annual writing competition coming up again.
I left my entry until the last minute last time, and I'd like to avoid doing that this time.
But the email I received reminding me of it was titled, "Write something beautiful again."

Well, no pressure then.

I don't think I write 'beauty' very often.
In fact, I haven't written very often (apart from in French) at all as of late.

I've had more of my writey thoughts recently- little ideas or scenarios in my mind, or feelings I want to convey. But I don't really have the time or energy to write them.

I think I write tragic. Awful. Usually angst, but then there is quite a long piece I've been working on for a while, and I can't even write angst for that any more.
Maybe I've lost my angst?
(Is this angst over losing my angst?)

I think it's the same with my painting.
It's not very often that I paint something pretty.
It's usually harsh or satirical or scary.

Maybe I'm afraid of pretty.

Maybe at least with harsh and scary, no one thinks I was trying for pretty, so it doesn't need to be perfect.

Every time I've tried to write about something that makes me feel like sunshine, (which I'll admit, hasn't been very often) it just doesn't come out right.

Maybe I need to have a think about beauty.