One Day

The rational part of me is telling myself that she is going to die. The emotional part of me can't be convinced.
All parts of me agree this shouldn't be happening.
All we can hope for is a miracle which might not come.
She's looking yellow, the tumour is pushing on her bile duct and forcing bile into her bloodstream.
She's not even seeing the oncologist until Friday; almost the day she is supposed to die.
Her doctor has been awful.
She seems in less pain the last couple of days.
She is still herself; still with it, still smiling, still seeming younger than seventy.

Even though I'm trying my hardest not ignore it, I'm still managing it.
Sometimes you can't coax yourself into accepting things you don't want.

But hey, there are always miracles.

Happy new year my bloggy friends; here's to another tough, well-endured year.