Victoria's Secret

I rarely watch TV. People tend to think I'm exaggerating when I say this, but I turned on the TV in our lounge for the first time this year the other night. The one show I do try to watch every year, however, is the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

People close to me are probably aware that I have a slight obsession with lingerie- I own much more than is practical. I love seeing the new underwear that Victoria's Secret comes up with for each show, and the models they pick are gorgeous in so many ways.
For some reason this show wasn't on free to air television in New Zealand last year, so I've only just watched it now- there's not much else to do when you're at home recovering from sickness!
This was probably the first show that I've watched and felt a little depressed.

I was talking to a friend recently about Barbies, and she told me that her mother had never bought them for her as she'd believed they'd negatively impact on her own body image. I thought this was crazy- I had an unbelievable amount of Barbies when I was a kid, and I was incredibly self-confident up until the age of about fourteen! But this friend assured me that she thinks playing with Barbies would have negatively impacted her self-esteem.
Yes, I went through one of those unhealthy body image phases, but my sister is going through this now, and it began about two years earlier with her than it did with me.

Watching Victoria's Secret, it sort of hit me today- I am never going to look anything like these women.
There's something a little different about the Victoria's Secret angels to other models. In general, traditional models just look a little odd. They're not necessarily pretty, but they're interesting to look at. They often have very angular, ectomorphic shapes. In contrast, the 'angels' are often not overly thin (Although, there are a couple that I think are getting that way), at least not in a way that seems repulsive. They have some sort of curve, and they don't just stare vacantly. They smile. They captivate people.

Yes, being a belly dancer requires some level of self-confidence! To be honest, I feel better about myself in a belly dance bedlah than I do in a clingy dress.
But looking at all these models' long legs and long torsos, I felt a little inadequate!
And it got me thinking, is this what made my 12 year old sister beg my mother to find her an 'agent' so she could model for her 13th birthday? Everything that's blasted over magazines, TV and the internet?
When I was 12, I don't know what I wanted to be. But I do know that I wasn't particularly slim (nor was I fat, but however) and I was incredibly happy with my body.
And I know my one ambition in life was not to be a model.
Would I have been stoked if someone had offered me the opportunity? Of course!
But this seems to be all my sister is aspiring to, a year and a half on- and it terrifies me.

My 45 minutes of diminished self-confidence really only lasted 45 minutes though. Being a belly dancer, I have to be confident if I want to perform. I have to look at my stomach (and the rest of my body) every day.

You know how you can stare at a word so long that is loses its meaning? I spent so long watching my stomach in the mirror the other day while I practised umis, that my stomach no longer looked like a stomach! I found that rather hilarious, actually ;)

I think I just have to accept that no, I'll never have particularly long legs, and I'm stuck with my average length torso. But yes, I will have muscular legs and strong abdominals, and even if that doesn't leave me qualified as a VS Supermodel, I can be an endurance runner, a belly dancer, and I can be confident in my own right.