You don't have to put on the red light

You know what's typical?

When I finally get a free moment, I don't feel like writing.
After thinking about so much for so long, and wanting to record it all down, I just plain don't feel like it.

I can hardly even type another sentence without going into another long, depressed ramble about the future.
And that's no fun now, is it?
So now that I'm suddenly distracted by gloomy thoughts again, I'll have to work harder to try and actually write something rather than ramble forever.

But then again, the majority of what I write is probably never read, is it?
Just like the majority of what I say is never remembered.
The majority of the way I was is not recollected. It's all pushed aside when the gloomy thoughts set in.
Just as Meredith Brooks points out that she's everything all rolled into one, yet the overwhelming aspect that pulls the song all together is 'Bitch'.

I don't know.
You know what I must be?
I must be one of those melodramatic teenagers.
Why the hell do I have to be one of those?
No one takes a sad teenager seriously now, do they?
I wouldn't take me too seriously either.
Everything ebbs and flows.

Maybe that's what's wrong. Everyone takes everything too seriously.
I'm very blessed to have some very laid-back friends who on many occasions have sat me down and said, "Siobhan, you have other things to worry about."

Right now I would do anything to back in his conservatory drinking bourbon and coke, telling him more than I'd ever told him before, and not being belittled or scolded for it.

I'm terrified of the end.