Low End Theory - Reprise
Low on sleep I am.
Needing some rest.
Needing a break.
Calmed down.
I won't kill you.
I want to erase you.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and the like.
Perhaps insanity isn't so bad.
Perhaps if I believed what I wanted and forgot what I didn't all would be well.
Perhaps those moments where you wake in the night and have that sudden thought, when you're standing the edge of the tallest building in town, when you're driving when you shouldn't be, perhaps they're all real.
But they never feel it in the morning.
They disappear.
Perhaps this is bipolar.
Perhaps this is nothing.
Perhaps this is fretting.
Perhaps this is stress.
Perhaps you wake up with bruised and battered knuckles because of problems you won't acknowledge.
Perhaps you feel all wrong now because you didn't look after yourself when it was crucial.
That doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but I know it.
I can't keep it down.
Sleep sleep sleep.
Run run run.
Clean clean clean.
Don't make the good memories into bad ones.
Remember the happy times.
Don't burn them.
I still remember the person I loved the most, even if I didn't love them in the same way I loved someone else.
Perhaps I didn't love them the most.
Perhaps I loved the two equally.
But I wanted to marry one, and I just felt an overwhelming sense of love for the other.
Love in the sense of the verb.
An insane amount of caring and protection.
Love.
What is it?
Does it change everytime?
Morphing and chopping.
Perhaps it's never the same.
They say you never forget your first love.
Someone once told me you never stop loving your first love.
I thought they were wrong.
Then I realised, perhaps my first love wasn't my first real love.
But how can it not be love if you want to build a life with them?
Even if you're a young teenager at the time.
If I've gone overboard I'm begging you to leave me be.
I remember the cold showers in Tahiti because the hot ones were ridiculous to even consider.
Closing my phone, reading nothing.
Ignorance is bliss, perhaps I should have been naive and innocent forever.
One of the guys I work with recently told me I have an 'innocent glow' about my face.
I was pleased.
I don't care if I'm innocent and too trusting and too naive.
I'd rather be that than the callous, bitter, angry person that seems to overwhelm me from time to time.
Needing some rest.
Needing a break.
Calmed down.
I won't kill you.
I want to erase you.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and the like.
Perhaps insanity isn't so bad.
Perhaps if I believed what I wanted and forgot what I didn't all would be well.
Perhaps those moments where you wake in the night and have that sudden thought, when you're standing the edge of the tallest building in town, when you're driving when you shouldn't be, perhaps they're all real.
But they never feel it in the morning.
They disappear.
Perhaps this is bipolar.
Perhaps this is nothing.
Perhaps this is fretting.
Perhaps this is stress.
Perhaps you wake up with bruised and battered knuckles because of problems you won't acknowledge.
Perhaps you feel all wrong now because you didn't look after yourself when it was crucial.
That doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but I know it.
I can't keep it down.
Sleep sleep sleep.
Run run run.
Clean clean clean.
Don't make the good memories into bad ones.
Remember the happy times.
Don't burn them.
I still remember the person I loved the most, even if I didn't love them in the same way I loved someone else.
Perhaps I didn't love them the most.
Perhaps I loved the two equally.
But I wanted to marry one, and I just felt an overwhelming sense of love for the other.
Love in the sense of the verb.
An insane amount of caring and protection.
Love.
What is it?
Does it change everytime?
Morphing and chopping.
Perhaps it's never the same.
They say you never forget your first love.
Someone once told me you never stop loving your first love.
I thought they were wrong.
Then I realised, perhaps my first love wasn't my first real love.
But how can it not be love if you want to build a life with them?
Even if you're a young teenager at the time.
If I've gone overboard I'm begging you to leave me be.
I remember the cold showers in Tahiti because the hot ones were ridiculous to even consider.
Closing my phone, reading nothing.
Ignorance is bliss, perhaps I should have been naive and innocent forever.
One of the guys I work with recently told me I have an 'innocent glow' about my face.
I was pleased.
I don't care if I'm innocent and too trusting and too naive.
I'd rather be that than the callous, bitter, angry person that seems to overwhelm me from time to time.
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