Ava Adore, The Claw

Buttercup, nothing in this world makes sense.
If you're willing to wait forever, you'll be forever waiting.
Forever blowing bubbles.
Forever trapped behind that fence of "Someday." And what seems perfect to me will seem flawed to you, and when it occurs to you that perhaps it is nothing less than perfect, the cracks will have shown and I will no longer agree.
And the times will change, but some things don't, and I'll hear what you say and what you believe and I'll believe none of it and listen to everything else in this world.
I'll walk down the hill, staring at the yellow stitching, considering and reconsidering everything that came out of your mouth with a grimace, unaware that only a few minutes later that grimace would be accompanied by the feeling of my stomach ripping in two, and I'll rethink it all again and will you to rescue me.

Because everyone will make you sad, especially those that make you the happiest.

And there will be the Vaseline people in the world and the people who will take a part of me home in their backpack then never be seen again, and those that shotgun the backseat of my car, those that think they know what they want, and all you'll do is talk of what could be.
But we live in different worlds, parallel universes, and some people always will, and for some reason whenever I speak of or write about my dreams they come true, so all this means is I should give up sleeping or just never recount my dreams to a soul again.
They say it's a gift, I say it's sick coincedence or perhaps logical thinking.
And I'll hear what you say once again and I'll consider it all, and see it differently than I did the last time, because I'm forever changing, and I'll pretend the only thing we have in common is our confusing name pronounciations, yet you'll continue to astound me with how much you know about me.
And I'll wonder if perhaps you delve into my ramblings, attempt to dissect my thoughts, but I'll never voice my wonderings because I can never really voice anything, can I?
The voiceless shadow that only materialised once in your lifetime.
And I would say perhaps in another lifetime, but I don't really believe that, there's one shot at this, two shots, three shots, ten shots later and you're on the top of a building in the dark with someone on their knee in front of you and all you remember is being huddled in a corner two hours earlier willing yourself to die.
And what they call excitement will only be known to you and frustration, depression, happiness, the chopping and changing of life that sometimes makes one's skin crawl.
And you'll be on the fence, off the fence, painting the fence, tearing down the fence, pouring gasoline on it and thinking of nothing except all the bitterness in your heart.
And you'll sit there in front of the screen, wondering what on earth the woman is on about, but somehow knowing.
And you won't understand at the time, you'll question everything, and if you don't you're a fool, but someday you'll look back and as they all say, hindsight is a beautiful thing.
In the dark you'll call out, and you'll say I know you. I do. And you'll learn more and more everyday, as that's how it should be.
But don't wait.
Not for me.
Not for anyone.
Jump that fence now.
Tear it down, get on it or off it.
Run away, stay somewhere, split yourself in two, make a difference, because you're probably in a more powerful position than you realise, particularly if you're that people pleaser that everyone loves.
And don't go back for her, because maybe she'll come to you, and if she doesn't, maybe it was never meant to be anyway.
But this is your one chance at life.
And you do not want to spend it looking over the fence at me.
- Blueberry.