Theme Thursday - Brush

Brush the hair back from your eyes.
Brush away those feelings.
Brush away those morals.
Brush away everything.
You don't need any feelings, do you?
Brush your teeth the morning after, it never tastes the same as it should.
My bloggy friends, I always leave Theme Thursday till the last minute, and now I have 18 minutes in which to blog.
It's always off the top of my head.
You know, I hate lies.
I can't stand them.
I remember the last blatant lie I told to someone.
About 2 weeks ago.
Hadn't told a lie like it in a very, very long time.
Will definitely not be doing it again anytime soon.
But sometimes, often when I'm driving home at night, and a particular song comes on, perhaps one that reminds of a distant friend, I suddenly question myself.
Am I lying to myself?
Am I treating life like a game?
Because it really feels as nothing matters these days.
All numb.
Numb, numb, numb.
Dazed and in a haze, but nevertheless, not too worried about it.
I can't even put into words how I feel when it comes over me, because it is so flickering, and I brush it away so fast.
It's like, I wonder if I'm just trying to push everything to its limit- you'll never know where the boundaries are if you don't step over them every once in a while.
Like I want to conjure up some amazing life in my mind, so all I'm doing is acting, and every now and then, it hits me that perhaps, I am only acting, perhaps I am lying to myself, perhaps it means nothing to me.
And then it's gone.
And that's why I can't explain it.
I just can't.

There is one thought I just can't brush away over the last few days though.
My friend who moved to L.A.
His house burned down, and his brother died,
and he has not left my mind since I found out.
And I feel far too distant to offer any tangible help.
So I'll just try and care from afar.
And I know that this caring is real and unscripted.