I once was a kid, All I had was a dream
I think all this stress in my life is teaching me to be a little more laid back.
I'm learning to go with the flow.
I used to be terrified of losing people.
I used to pine for all those that I've lost.
But I've learned, that if they're worth it, they'll come back.
They have so far.
Once upon a time I wrote that I'd written one of the most honest things in my life, but I couldn't post it here.
Well, it's saved, but sadly only half of it saved.
I think I've decided that maybe people need offending every now and then.
They'll know what kind of person I really am.
Maybe I shouldn't share so much of my soul.
Here we go anyway.
By My Side
Do you remember when you said that if we were both single at 35, we’d get married?
Of course, we didn’t really believe that, did we?
But you did ask on a few occasions what we’d call our children.
I think, deep down, we may have meant it.
I loved you more than anyone else.
But not romantically. (But what do I know about love?)
But it was very difficult when you just gave up on me.
Gone.
The person I cared about most in the entire world.
Gone.
It became an increasingly regular occurence for you to tell me that you would be like a boyfriend to me if I left the one that was hurting me at the time.
A bizarre thing for a ‘friend’ to say really, isn’t it?
Well, at least, I thought so.
Everytime I drive past your house, I wonder if you’re inside. Wonder if you’re at your computer, listening to the music we loved.
The same music that used to bring a smile to my lips whenever I heard it.
I still remember sitting on the bus on a sunny day in Heathcote when it came on. A happy song with a beautiful view.
Now, whenever I hear it, my heart wants to leap out of my chest and smash itself to death against the concrete. (Or at least, it did when I originally wrote this honest post in April.)
I remember when you first stopped talking to me, how terrified I was of stopping caring about you.
I knew that it would happen with time, but I was desperately clutching at any care I still had for you.
I didn't want to forget the person I clicked with more than anyone else.
I was terrified of being okay with not caring about you.
And here I am,
Not caring.
I'm learning to go with the flow.
I used to be terrified of losing people.
I used to pine for all those that I've lost.
But I've learned, that if they're worth it, they'll come back.
They have so far.
Once upon a time I wrote that I'd written one of the most honest things in my life, but I couldn't post it here.
Well, it's saved, but sadly only half of it saved.
I think I've decided that maybe people need offending every now and then.
They'll know what kind of person I really am.
Maybe I shouldn't share so much of my soul.
Here we go anyway.
By My Side
Do you remember when you said that if we were both single at 35, we’d get married?
Of course, we didn’t really believe that, did we?
But you did ask on a few occasions what we’d call our children.
I think, deep down, we may have meant it.
I loved you more than anyone else.
But not romantically. (But what do I know about love?)
But it was very difficult when you just gave up on me.
Gone.
The person I cared about most in the entire world.
Gone.
It became an increasingly regular occurence for you to tell me that you would be like a boyfriend to me if I left the one that was hurting me at the time.
A bizarre thing for a ‘friend’ to say really, isn’t it?
Well, at least, I thought so.
Everytime I drive past your house, I wonder if you’re inside. Wonder if you’re at your computer, listening to the music we loved.
The same music that used to bring a smile to my lips whenever I heard it.
I still remember sitting on the bus on a sunny day in Heathcote when it came on. A happy song with a beautiful view.
Now, whenever I hear it, my heart wants to leap out of my chest and smash itself to death against the concrete. (Or at least, it did when I originally wrote this honest post in April.)
I remember when you first stopped talking to me, how terrified I was of stopping caring about you.
I knew that it would happen with time, but I was desperately clutching at any care I still had for you.
I didn't want to forget the person I clicked with more than anyone else.
I was terrified of being okay with not caring about you.
And here I am,
Not caring.
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