Sad and Proud

It began exactly the same as it always did.
Same bar, same game, same drinks, same faces.

But the night was different, and for the first and final time, it would end different to usual.

No more drunken dancing, no tequila shots.

He followed her home this time, and they didn't talk as much as they had on previous nights like this one.

Things between them had changed rapidly from the night they met;
the tension between them escalating, the glances becoming more and more lingering, until it all reached a fever pitch- and ended abruptly on this very night.

"I'm gonna miss you, buddy." he lied.
She wasn't his buddy. She was fucking gorgeous and there was something about her that he found (almost) irresistible.

"It just feels so... strange that I'll never see you again," she lied.
It wasn't strange. It was awful and wrong, and she knew that this town would be full of stupid reminders.

"Come visit," he said, his eyes looking down into hers. "Do an exchange."

She half-smiled at him and said she might just do that, but really she knew that this was it.

It had all built up with such intensity and speed that in the end all it had done was collapse in on itself.

Perhaps years from now when everything was different and they were worlds away, they'd wish for the ending they wanted.

The one where everything happened as they wished and they couldn't bear to part.
The one where he'd kiss her goodnight on the porch and there would be no hiding it.
The one where she'd said yes everytime he'd asked to be with her.
The one where she'd come to see him off and he had to pull himself away from her.

But for now, this was a better ending.

He hugged her tightly at the door but pulled away before she did. She waved as he walked down her front path and out into the cold, rainy night.

After months of build-up and breaking down the barriers, that was all there was.

A coy wave from the door frame and a "Goodnight."

And that was how it ended.